It's like a brick in your pocket....

I'll start by saying this post is going to be a little sentimental and some senseless ramblings...so you can't say I didn't warn you. And I'm pregnant so my hormones and emotions are a little crazy right now...(I love getting to use pregnancy as an excuse for my emotions...but seriously it's true!) Anyway, a few weeks ago I was watching an interview with a widow of one of the victims of 9/11. She was asked how she feels now 10 years later after her husbands death. I loved her explanation and it has stuck with me since. She said it's like having a brick in you pocket. When her husband first died, that brick was so heavy...she felt it everyday...it was hard to do normal everyday things. But after a while she got used to it, she could go on with her daily routines/events...but there would be times when that brick would become heavy again and the weight would be overwhelming...(like on the anniversary for instance). She said the brick will always remain, the weight may not be as heavy as it use to be, but it will always be there. And you could see that in all the faces of the people that were interviewed...and as the people looked at the names of their loved ones on the memorial in New York...yes, it's been 10 years, but the pain and emotions of losing someone will always remain....you will never forget.

 I can relate to what this lady described as death being like a brick in your pocket. Monday will be 8 years since I lost my dad to cancer. 8 years...I can't even believe that. Anyway...within the first days/weeks/years of his death that brick was heavy...very heavy. The weight of the emotions and sadness from his death was so strong it was overwhelming at times. As the years go by I got use to that brick...the pain wasn't as strong. But there are times that brick does become heavy again...for example..graduation from high school, college, my wedding, having Luke, every time I go visit Maple Grove (his last church he pastored)...and now being pregnant with this second baby. It goes to show that , yes time does heal the intensity of the pain...but the pain is still there. As long as I'm living on this earth, there will always be reminders that he's not here. I'm sure anyone that has lost someone so dear to them can relate to this. 

Well in other news..pregnancy news..I'm feeling much better. The sickness is starting to subside...not sure if it's the drugs my wonderful doctor gave me or just the end of the sickness time...who knows...I'm not going to stop taking this medicine to find out though. I like being able to eat without wanting to die later. Also, Justin doesn't have to work on Friday nights anymore and he only works one job on Saturdays...so the weekends are much more enjoyable than they use to be. And tomorrow is...Friday! So I'm excited...it has become movie night and Taco Bell night...yeah I know it's lame...but my cravings for Taco Bell have started again and to avoid eating it every day (like I did last time...and why I gained a gazillion pounds) I get to treat myself to Taco Bell on Friday nights now...so needless to say I'm really looking forward to tomorrow...it's the little things in life. 

Before I end this really long post....I have to share a cute thing Luke does for those who care...I think it's adorable. Every morning he wakes up and says "befast" (that means breakfast..duh.) and then he says "juice" and gets really excited. So when he wakes up from his nap he starts saying "befast" "juice"...I think he maybe a little confused. I try to explain we only have breakfast in the morning...he doesn't get it though. 

Scarves, Boots, and Football

I wasn't sure what to title this blog...because it's going to be pretty random. So I just titled it the three things I love about fall..so there ya go! (and I really do love football) I may not know everyone's name that is playing or understand it all..but I really do love having it on our TV and hopefully we will be able to go to a Saints, OU, or Arkansas game this year.

Anyway, I got to have my first doctor's appointment yesterday. It went great...I liked my doctor and I got to have a surprise ultrasound and look at this cute little lovey:

That's a pretty cute baby right there. He (I don't really think or know if it's a he but I just want to call it something...so we will go with he) was moving a lot...waving his cute little nubby arms and legs. It was adorable...my eyes got a little watery when he was doing all that. I just love having an ultrasound...it really is an amazing thing to watch. Also, it makes the pregnancy so much more "real" and it gives you that "boost" you need to keep going! And I needed one...since I've been having some sickness. It's a lot better than it was a few weeks ago..I'm actually able to eat better and not rush to the bathroom 3-4 times a day! But all the things I was eating before (healthy things) make me feel icky to even think about eating them...as in wheat bread, grilled chicken...some fruits...which is really frustrating because I want to keep eating those things. Of course the only things that sound good are carbs and fattening stuff...but it's been fun eating some of them at least! :) My doctor gave me some drugs to help with the sickness, so I'll be back to healthy eating...but occasionally eating some fun things!

We finally were able to go out to the zoo today. It was such a beautiful day and the boys (Luke, Malachi and Isaac) seemed to have a good time. I'll put some pictures up soon. I'm sure we will be making many more trips.

That's all the updating I've got for now...and yes I know it wasn't much. I've got to go make myself look pretty for my husband...we have a hot date tonight. :)

Remembering

The start of school and fall always brings up memories and makes me remember my time at Williams. I know everyone says college was one of the best 4 (or more) years of their lives...but really for me it was. I'm so thankful for my time there and the friends (and my husband) that I met. It really felt like home...everyone became family. I miss it there. I remember feeling so nervous and sick the day we were to leave and move in. I cried with my mom. I am such a homebody? (is that how you spell that)....so it was hard for me to move away...especially having to leave my mom! But I was easily able to meet new friends and adapt very well. My favorite part was , of course, Singers. I miss Dr. Magee and singing and practicing every week. I remember I would have a bad or stressful day with school/studying and I would go into Singer's practice and I could just forget all of that for an hour! Ahhh...I miss those days! But don't worry..I wouldn't trade my life now for that. I hope we can go visit sometime soon...or hopefully make it to Homecoming. I need some Pizza Den as well!! Love that place...a fried chicken poboy sounds marvelous right about now. :) Someone in Walnut Ridge bring me one...please. 

Well....sorry for getting all sentimental. Now back to real life...the morning/afternoon/night sickness has arrived. It actually started last week!...blah! This week has actually been a little better than last week. But man...it's not fun. I have to eat as soon as I feel hungry or it will be too late and then I feel too sick to eat anything. Hopefully I only have a few more weeks of this yuckiness. 

Now that school and fall time is starting I would really like to start doing more activities/fun things with Luke. I've been looking on Pinterest (which by the way is very addiciting...but I love it) for ideas. I've found some cute ones. We are going to try finger painting...with edible finger paint...some coloring, learning some numbers and letters...I know he's young..but we can start somewhere. He loves learning about animals and can name several of them. I think he's pretty smart. We hope to make several trips to the zoo (he loves it) once it gets a little cooler and maybe to the Children's Museum. I want to do as much as we can before baby #2 gets here and things get crazy around here! 

New Things

I am really bad at this blogging thing. I wish I was better at it and my blog looked cool, but I have no idea how to fix that. If you know please tell me. Thanks!

It's been a loooooong time since my last post (9 months to be exact)...I could have had a baby by now! (I haven't by the way) So, I'll summarize the high points of the last 9 months.

1. I started weight watchers and working out everyday in January...I lost 30 lbs in 4 months! It was the best feeling ever. I am the healthiest I have ever been. I'm not the skinniest, but I'm in the best shape I have ever been as well. It feels great! I really enjoy working out/exercising...I feel gross if I don't.

2. Justin graduated with his Master's in May! Woo hoo! So proud of him...he's smarter than me. But I'm really glad he is. He maybe getting his Doctorate...but we aren't sure yet..(more on that later)

3. We found out in July we are having baby #2! Yay! We are both excited. We've been trying so no, it wasn't a surprise. It felt so different finding out with this baby than with Luke. I was scared to death and wanted to throw up when we found out we were pregnant with Luke. (I eventually got happier but it was scary) But I was thrilled with this one! Now that I know what to somewhat expect it makes it easier. And yes, I am fine with the fact I will be gaining some weight after losing a bunch...(I've had people ask me that!) I WILL NOT gain like I did last time. I am eating healthy and still exercising everyday. I plan to gain what I'm suppose to. And then lose it all fast..hopefully!

Those are some high points of the past 9 months. Justin is still working two jobs...yes we are thankful for those, but geeze I miss my husband...really. It's not fun...some days he misses lunch and dinner...actually most days! We praying that the Lord will be placing him in a church soon, as a pastor. He has sent his resume to different churches....some look promising. :) He is ready to be a pastor and do what the Lord has called him to do...and so am I. He has been able to do a lot of pulpit supply in the last few months...so that has been good...I know he enjoys that. My cousin, Marie Millikin, had her sweet baby girl this week, and whenever she starts back to work I will be babysitting sweet little Maddie. I'm excited about having a little girl around here, but it will be nice to make some extra money. Well those are some updates....hopefully it won't be another 9 months before the next one!

Update

Just a quick update from the last post. Justin got another job! He will be working again at Lifeway. He worked there a couple of years ago when we first lived here in the apartments. We are so happy this worked out. I am so blessed to have a husband who is willing to work two jobs and go to school full time so I can stay at home and take care of our sweet baby! He's the best...really! I love him. :)

Fall Time...maybe?

Well it's fall....I think. It doesn't really feel like fall weather lately but the fact that football is on our tv from Saturday-Monday makes up for the weather issue. We haven't had a lot going on lately. We just got back from a trip to Oklahoma. We haven't been there since August. Our time there always goes by so fast, and we never have enough time to see everyone we want too. It will be nice when we can spend a week or longer there.

I have a prayer request for those of you who read this blog. Justin is searching and applying for a second job right now and we are hoping he will be able to get one soon, or just one that will pay a little more. We both would love for me to continue to stay home with Luke. I can't imagine putting him in a daycare after being home with him for the last few months. I will get a job if that is what I need to do but Justin would like for me to stay home and he is willing to work another job so I will be able to do that. We are also looking for something I could do at home...babysitting would be perfect. We are trusting the Lord and know He will continue to take care of us, just like He always has.

Random thought....I love the Etrade commercials with the baby/babies...they make me laugh every time! (sorry it just came on and I had to share)

Much needed update...

So, we have had some changes in the past couple of months. We are now all moved back into the seminary housing in Cordova, Tn. We love it! I have no idea how I fit everything into that little house in Wynne. I am loving the space and just living in the apartment complex and being surrounded by other students and their families. I know Justin is loving being close to the school and his friends.

He recently got a job at Kirby Woods Baptist Church doing maintenance work. He gets to work with one of his friends from seminary and he seems to enjoy it. I have been staying at home with Luke since June and I love it! I couldn't be happier....it's the best job ever. The Lord has also blessed me with a real good friend. She and her husband live right under us. She has a baby who is about a month older than Luke and she stays at home with him as well. We work out together and it's been such a blessing to have a such a good friend to hang out with and our babies seem to have fun together!

It seems like Luke is doing something different everyday. He is such a happy baby...and people tell me that all the time and then ask if he ever cries...to which I usually reply with a laugh and a uh yes! He just started sitting up and does really good at it....he is trying to crawl, he can scoot and turn himself around pretty well. The only problem we are having now is he is not wanting to take naps....he will cry and fight me for about an hour or so. It can be pretty frustrating. He has also been waking up a few times during the night, and he has been a great night sleeper since he was about 6 or 8 weeks. We have been traveling a lot lately so I think this may have something to do with it. I"m sure it's just a phase and he will get out of it! He's still a wonderful baby and I couldn't be more blessed. He makes us smile and laugh everyday! :)