The Weather Outside is Frightful...

We were finally able to escape from the house today and I have never been so happy about leaving my home! After being iced in since Thursday it was a relief to get out for a while. I am a homebody and yes, I stay at home everyday. But not having the option of leaving if I want to, made me crazy. Also, we usually get out of the house on weekends. Justin and I had plans to do some shopping and we get out of the house on Sundays for church. None of those things happened so cabin fever set in. I also have two active boys who need to get out and play somewhere besides our house or outside if possible. I did get my house clean, so that's checked off my list of things to do this week.

Nope...not snow. That's ice and sleet. The not fun stuff. 

Just eating an ice sickle. 

Being trapped in the house has also made me want to bake everything I have ever pinned on Pinterest and then eat it. I didn't gain any weight Thanksgiving week, but I'm sure I did these last few days. I am not a baker and I don't really enjoy it that much. But when it gets cold and Christmasy (?) my very small inner baker self comes out. I have been super slacking in my eating. I need to step that up...well actually slow it down. I need to step my exercise routine up...for sure. I can just feel the pounds adding on. I haven't ran in almost two weeks. That is mainly due to something I've done to my knee. I have no idea what, but when I run or put too much pressure on it, it hurts like crazy. I'm hoping the rest I've done has helped it. I may try and go out tomorrow. Ugh.  If it's not any better I may just take a break from running until January...or I may just do that anyway. Way to step up my exercising. But really...I'm kind of burned out with running. I think I need a break from it for a little while. I have other exercise videos I can do. My goal this week is to at least get three days of some sort of exercise in. I did accomplish my last goal of running three days that week...hopefully I can do this one. I struggle this time of year with getting motivated to eat well and exercise well...it's so hard. Someone agree with me. Anyone? 

I baked this. It was super yummy and very easy  for this non-baker. 

We are getting more and more excited about Christmas this year...mainly because of Luke. He's more aware of everything than any other year. We do the whole Santa thing and Elf on the Shelf. But we also make sure he understands the most important part...Jesus' birth. He knows how important that is. He has this Little People nativity set he loves to play with. Every time he does, he always sets the people up to where they are all looking at Jesus. I have never told him to do that. I just think his little three year old self understands how important He is. I don't feel like we have in anyway replaced Santa or Elf on the Shelf for the most important thing about Christmas. The other is just for fun. They are only young for so long, there's nothing wrong with letting them enjoy those things around Christmas. But there's also nothing wrong with not doing them either. I have friends who don't do the whole Santa thing and that's totally fine. I respect that. I do have a problem with people who try to tell others (by posting articles on Facebook) that doing Santa and Elf on the Shelf is in someway wrong. Why can't we all just respect each other's traditions? It's Christmas time...let's be merry and bright! 

As long as there will not be another ice storm to confine us for days, Justin and I plan to get out and finish our Christmas shopping this weekend. I actually have almost more than half done...which is very unusual for me. I'm usually the one frantically getting everything done the week before or of Christmas. We will be in Oklahoma the 19th-23rd, so I have to be done by then. I'm glad that's making me get it done! I'm so looking forward to our time with family. I really do love this time of year. Oh and the food. Always. 

Have a great week!

Thankful

There are lots of things I'm thankful for. But today I'm especially thankful for my kids bedtime and the fact that they sleep in their own rooms and in their own beds all night long. I'm ready for that to happen soon. It's been a doozy of a day. The boys have been crazy today or maybe I'm just super on edge..who knows. Between the boys not taking a nap, coming into my kitchen to find a ton of ants
(I despise ants) and putting too much pepper in the meal I made.. Yes I know not a big deal..it was at the time...it's time for a vacation or maybe just sleep.

I'm also super thankful for Justin Heck. The Lord knew what He was doing when He put this patient man in my life. He for sure balances out my crazy non patient self, that begged him go get some ant killer because if I saw one more ant I may go nuts. He did go get it. He also took over the whiney non-napper Jude who I would probably have given to anyone who came to my house. Also, I'm glad he's better at grammar than me...I wasn't sure whether to use given or gave in the above sentence...not that I really care in this blog..as you've probably noticed.  I'm thankful for friends who understands what it's like to wake up in the morning and already be ready for the kids nap and/or bedtime. I'm thankful that I have been able to live close to my family and I am able to get a break when I need one and they are always so gracious and willing to help me out.

I'm thankful for a gracious Lord, who Has blessed me with these children to love and take care of everyday...even on days like today, where I was wishing I could be anywhere else. I'm thankful I can even make it through tough days because of Him.  The last verse to one of my favorite songs I Have Been Blessed is one of my favorites and I was reminded of it earlier today.

He's my shoulder to lean on when I'm down. The rock where He leads me when I'm overwhelmed. The place where He hides me is under His wings. He's not just a song. He's the reason I sing. I have been blessed.

I know bad days...weeks happen...they are normal. I'm just thankful for a God who helps me through them and the people He put in my life who are a blessing to me.

Luke set up a picnic. This is right before things started getting crazy. 

Happy Bday Love.

I've been a little on the sick side for the past week, which explains my late posting. Which you may not have noticed. I went to the doctor Tuesday and got some meds. I'm feeling much better. If I could just stop coughing sometime soon that would be great though. Due to my sickness my running/exercising has been nonexistent this week. Excuses. I wouldn't have done it anyway. Probably not. Well I may have ran. I actually do want to keep that up. But I figured I better not since I can barely talk without sounding like I'm coughing up a lung. Although, my doctor told me I could still run. It's actually good for you. It helps you cough up all the junk. Gross. He told me the day I was in there I could go run when I got home. No thanks. I'm going home and taking advantage of the rest my husband is going to let me have while he takes care of our children. Let me be sick doctor! 

This whole #fit4christmas thing I mentioned in a previous post isn't going so well. I think I've lost a total of 1.5 lbs in 3 weeks. I've probably gained that back this week doing nothing. I did eat pretty well. But that doesn't help me. I have to do some sort of exercise if I want to lose anything. Ugh. I wish I cared more. Well I do care. I care about the 10 lbs I've gained over the last two months. Yes. That happened. I just wish I didn't care so much. I know I can lose that if I really try. It will be hard over the next few weeks due to all of the wonderful holiday eating. My goal will be not to gain over the next weeks. If I can just maintain and then really get back on track afterwards I'll be happy. My goal next week is to run at least 3 days. That's a pretty attainable goal. Hopefully. 

So, back to the most important item of discussion for the day. Today is my husband's 32nd birthday! I'm so glad he was born all those years ago. He's my best friend. And I love him dearly. Luke made him a birthday card and I told him to tell me five things he likes about his Daddy. Well, now I'm going to list five things I like about Justin Heck. Here they are in no particular order. These aren't all too serious or too mushy, so don't worry! 

1. You make me laugh. Even if I don't laugh out loud all the time...I still think you're the funniest person I know.
2. Your excitement over Christmas. You're like a little kid...which makes it pretty fun for our little kids.
3. I have someone to like cool/nerdy things with.
4. When you play/wrestle with our boys...I like you a lot then.
5. Your beard. Please don't ever shave it off. But please cut your hair. 

There are of course a lot more things I could list. He's a really likable guy...I think anyway. Tonight we are having a family birthday thing. Tomorrow we are going on a birthday date, which will include going to see the new Hunger Games movie. I didn't even have to ask him to take me to see that on his birthday. He wanted to. Which goes back to #3 on my list. I've only read the book three times, so I think I'm pretty prepared for it.

Happy Birthday Justin Heck! Let's spend lots more birthdays together...okay?

-Aren't you glad I still have these old pictures of you? By the way, Jan, I promise I"m going to give these back to you...I've only had them for 6 years. But I'm so glad I still had them today. :)

Cutie.

Q&A with Luke.

This was our first weekend in a long time that we had nothing going on and we were home the whole time. It was super nice. My first week trying to get back on track with my eating/exercising went okay. I lost a grand total of... 1.5 lbs. Meh...I mean it's a loss so I'll take it. I'm really hoping to do better this week. Monday I did the Bikini Body Mommy workout I mentioned in one of my earlier posts. I did finish that 90 day workout. I had some good results, but I know they would have been better if I would done better with my eating. Anyway, I started it over on Monday and oh my goodness I was sore. What a way to tell me I'm out of shape! I feel like my motivation to eat better is there, but now my motivation to workout is not. I can't seem to get them together.

Well enough of that. Today I'm doing a special Q&A with the one and only....Luke Michael Heck. (also known as, my first born child) I asked him if he had some time out of his busy day to answer some questions for me. This morning he said "No, I've got to watch some TV" (don't interrupt his TV time). So I had to anxiously wait until his show was over to ask him some questions. I thought y'all might want the wonderful opportunity in getting to know him better. He's pretty cool. I love his age right now. He will be four in January. (Let's not talk about that.) He's funny, weird and crazy. (sounds like someone else I know) He also can be super sweet and loving. He's really starting to play and love on Jude a lot more. I love watching them play together. I did not edit any of his answers...everything that's there he said.

How are you today, Luke?
I'm three.

I mean how are you feeling?
Uh. Good. Why are you talking to me like that?

I'm just going to ask you some questions. It will be fun. 
Uh. Okay. 

What time did you get up this morning? 
Um...afternoon. 

What's your favorite color? 
Yellow. What's your favorite?
 Red
Well you can like red or yellow...which one? You can just have red and yellow. 
Thanks. 

Who's your best friend? 
Malachi. And I like you, Daddy, and Jude. 

Who's the cutest person in the whole world?
You always call me the cutest person in the whole world. Me. And you, and Daddy and Jude.

What's your favorite movie?
How about...Larry Boy, Bubble Guppies
Bubble Guppies isn't a movie. That's a TV show.
Well it's my favorite. 

Who's your favorite superhero...Batman, Superman, Spiderman?
Ohh!! I like Spiderman. 

What's your favorite toy right now?
Larry Boy. I can't find Larry Boy. It's under my bed. 

Do you have any brothers or sisters?
I want another brother and another sister. 
Uh..next question. 

Do you have a brother right now?
Uhhhh. Yeah. 

Do you like him?
Jude? Yeah I like Jude. And I like you. 
Thanks. 

Can you tell me your memory verse?
"We will serve the Lord" 
(*He actually says "We will serve the world" (he can't say his L's very good yet) Kind of the complete opposite of what the verse really is! We laugh.)

What's your favorite song?
Bubble Guppies Song. 

Do you like to dance?
Yeah.
-Then he dances a cool dance. 

Who's the best dancer?
Me. I'm funny. 

What do you want for Christmas?
Ohhh! I like the Jake and the Pirate toy. 

What was the last movie you watched?
The Monsters movie.

What is your favorite TV show? 
Bubble Guppies.
(Can you tell we like Bubble Guppies? It's actually a cool show. You should watch it. )

If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be? 
Arkansas

What did you have for breakfast? 
Breakfast bar and Milk.

What foods do you not like (yucky)?
Umm... Bugs. Lady bugs aren't gross.
uh...ew.

What's your favorite food?
The Monsters Macaroni and Cheese

Favorite Place to Eat? 
Um. Cheese dip and quesadilla   

What are your favorite clothes? 
Mickey mouse.

Where would you want to go to today?
Gran Jan's house. She's in Oklahoma.

Is the cup 1/2 empty or 1/2 full?
1/2 gone. 

Favorite time of day?: 
Morning. We don't have any fire.
(I have no idea what that means. )

Where were you born?
Tomorrow. 

Do you have any pets?
No. I don't have any pets in my house. I'm sure we can get one.
Uh. Maybe. 

Do you like cats or dogs?
I like Mallie. 
(That's my sister's dog. )

Any new and exciting news you'd like to share?
I like Mama.

What do you want to be when you are bigger? 
Luke.

Are you married?
No. I'm fine.
Good.

What are you listening to right now?
You. 

What makes you mad or sad? 
I like to be happy. 

Thank you for letting me ask you these questions today.
Thank you.

Cutest 3 year old in the world. 

Ugh. Exercising.

Well I hope all of you people who don't have young children or those who have yet to be blessed with them enjoyed fall back time. Ugh. Both of my kids being up before 7:00 is not cool. At least I had plenty of time to get ready for church...positive thinking. I felt like yesterday was such a looong day. I love going to church and being with our church family and worshiping  but oh man are Sundays exhausting...and with my kids getting up way too early for my liking it made for a much longer day. So it was difficult to get out of my nice, warm bed this morning. Monday's are usually my "clean up from the weekend day". I take the weekends off from cleaning/laundry...unless it's completely necessary. So, if you ever come to my house on any day during the weekend, be prepared for it to look a mess. Well, I may clean up for you...depends on who you are. :)

Go back to bed! 

I have officially decided it's time to get back on track with my eating/exercising. I have been a super slacker in that department...and when I say slacker I mean doing nothing or not caring about either one of those. I was actually doing pretty good with running/exercising. It was enjoyable for me. But now I'm just tired of it. I hate that I have to keep up with it in order to not gain a million pounds. But I do want to stay healthy and somewhat fit. I just wish it was more fun. I'm to the point where I'm pretty happy and content with my weight and size. I'm not where I would like to be or what I had set my goal at in the beginning though, so I'd still like to lose about 10 more lbs. Well now it maybe more than that from all the candy I consumed this weekend. Oh well...it was worth it. But I have to either hide the rest of the Halloween candy...or it's going in the trash. So, today it's back to tracking everything I eat (that works best for me), running, and doing some sort of exercise on my days off from running....ugh. I wish I could say I'm excited...but I'm not. I'm joining up with some other people who are doing this #fitforchristmas thing. I saw it on a blog that I follow. It actually started on Friday, but who wants to start something on a Friday? Not me, starting at the beginning of the week works better for me...plus I had all that Halloween candy I needed to eat. I'm going to do the whole taking of my measurements and picture thing to see if I make any changes. But don't worry...I won't post any of that on here. I may give you an update on my measurements...but no pictures! It ends on December 20...right before Christmas. Just in time to eat all the yummy Christmas food without feeling too guilty about it.

We had another busy weekend. Friday, I got my hair done. I went back to a more natural color this time. I'm taking a break from the red. I missed my natural hair. Friday night Justin and I had a date night...out to eat and a grocery run...exciting!  It was still fun. We joke about getting groceries whenever we go out, but honestly (cheesy comment coming up) it doesn't matter what we do, we always make it fun...or at least he's good at doing that.  We also made some other stops. We stopped at Ulta where I got the best curling iron ever. Well for me it is. I can finally curl my hair with a curling iron...yes, I'm 27 and still can't figure out how to curl my hair. Yes, I've watched videos and have had people show me...I still can't figure it out with that clamp thingy...see I don't even know the technical term for it..if there even is one. I've used the same set of rollers that I've had since college. This curling wand gives you more of a wavy, crimp look..which I like. I'm sure I could get it to do more of those big wavy curls I like too...I'll have to practice more. But since I only fix my hair like once or twice a week it may take me some time. 

Bed Head Curling Wand. 

Saturday we got our family pictures done. We have a family friend from Monette who takes pictures as a hobby. The ones I've seen on Facebook that she's done are really good. I can't wait to see ours. The boys cooperated really well. And we got to take a few in a cotton field! I was so happy. There are a ton of cotton fields in that area and almost all of them that we drove by had been picked. But there was one by her house that was still there...worked out perfectly!

He combed his hair for the pictures. He's handsome. 

Well it's off to clean up my messy house...oh Mondays. Yes, even stay at home Mom's dislike Mondays...or at least I do. :) Hope you all have a great week!

P.S. I'm wanting to give this blog a makeover...make it look  not so cheesy (that's the second time I've used that word). Anyway, I'm not very smart when it comes to computer design stuff...I guess all those years of being on Annual Staff did nothing for me. So, if you know how to do it...then let me know! I need help. 

Busy, Busy.

That is what you would describe our lives right now...busy. But it's been a fun busy. Although, I am ready to have a weekend with nothing to do...that would be nice and also sleep. Friday we had a fun family day and went to a pumpkin patch in Bartlett. The boys loved it. It was perfect for them. My mom and sister went as well. Then that night we had some of my Mom's homemade chili at her house. Saturday night we had a youth/children's hayride at the church. Everyone seemed to have a good time. It was a fun fall weekend. I like fun fall things.

Justin went to the Arkansas Baptist Convention yesterday morning in Rogers. So, being the big baby that I am, me and the boys went and stayed with my Mama. Not because I'm can't handle taking care of my kids by myself but I have a hard time staying anywhere by myself at night. I can stay home all day but when it comes time to go to sleep I become super paranoid. I will turn all the lights on and stay up as long as I possibly can. I think I've watched way too many Datelines and Law and Orders. I'm just glad she lives close so I can go and crash at her house when I need to...and Julie too. Good thing they like me...and my kids.

Playing with Nana's iPad. 

Thursday we will have a hot dog/s'mores roast at our church and hand out candy to people in our community. It should be fun! I've always liked Halloween...not the scary part of it but I remember loving dressing up. We were never scary things and honestly it freaks me out when little kids dress up as scary things...sorry it does. My mom made our costumes. I remember her making a princess costume for me. Oh I loved it! I really felt like a princess and probably thought I was. I meant to get the picture while I was at her house..but forgot. We never went trick or treating. We always went to the church for the fall festival and I remember always having a good time. I"m sure that will be our tradition as well. I like dressing the boys up. Jude has no idea what's going on yet, but Luke does. He's super excited about being Peter Pan. Although, I think he believes he will get to fly...but just on Halloween he said. I guess we will find out Thursday how that will go....

Saturday we are getting some family photos done. We haven't had any since last July so I figured it's about time! I was hoping to get some done in a cotton field, but it may all be picked by then...oh well..one day I will. These will also most likely be the last ones we do for a while, so they have to be good...so my kids better cooperate...yeah..right. We will see about that. I'm bringing along my Mom so she will help make them behave and smile good. I'm hoping to at least get one good one. I have high hopes.

Hope you all have a great week! Eat lots of candy...I will. :)

Jude.

Yesterday my baby boy turned 19 months. I realize that's not a milestone age I guess...like 12, 16, and 18 months, but I was at a loss of what to blog about today so what better thing than talking about my children! I want to be able to remember somethings he did, so having this will help.

He's walking...trying to run....everywhere. He's into everything and destroys things in about 2 seconds. Seriously...Justin and I say he's crazy all the time...because he is. Luke was a pretty calm toddler. He did his usual messes but he never really got into things or I never had to worry about him putting his toothbrush in the toilet and then finding it in his mouth...yes, that happened. He maybe a huge mess, but he's so cute...I can't even stand it sometimes. He has a few nicknames. We call him Judah Bear, Jude Bug, Judah Bug...his real name is not Judah...I don't know why we call him that sometimes..it just sounds cute.

He loves to eat. He could eat all day long if I let him. His favorite foods: pizza (he can eat 3-4 pieces in one sitting..not kidding...small pieces) cookies (he's nuts about some cookies), grilled cheese sandwiches and french fries. I still can not get him to drink milk. He hates it but he loves his apple juice. I think that was the first word he said...after Mama. "jushhhh" is how he says it..like a million times a day. He has to have a fork when he's eating. If he sees everyone with one he must have it. He loves going outside. If he sees we are getting ready or I say anything about leaving or going somewhere he is walking as fast as his little legs will go to get his shoes and say "shhhhs" He doesn't really finish his words.

Luke was my big talker and still is! Jude doesn't say near as many words as Luke was at his age. He says: Mama, Daddy or really just "Dad", ball, cookie (he says this word weird...but I know what he's saying), juice, shoes, "Guke" for Luke...which maybe the cutest thing ever, Nana, Juju, Bubble (for Bubble Guppies...he is crazy about that show). All these words he says, but some of them are just more of a noise...he doesn't really finish the word. But he can pretty much obey and understand anything I say. He's pretty smart. I tell him to put something in the trash and he will. Of course he will try and dig something else out, but whatever. He will go and get his shoes when I ask him to. He knows how to pick up the toys. I know a lot of this he has learned from watching Luke. He wants to do everything Luke does! He loves Veggie Tales...like a lot. He wants to watch one of the movies we have every single day, all day long. My Mom has this little brochure thing at her house that shows some Veggie Tales toys. He will sit there and look and study that thing forever...and want you to read it to him. We know what he will be getting for Christmas.

As some of you may have noticed in any pictures I post of him, yes Jude still loves his paci. I should probably care more about starting to get him off of it, but I just don't care much. He really only likes it when he's sleepy, for naps/nightime, or when we are in the car. We don't do all of those all the time. But I do know I'll have to start sometime. I'm just not ready yet. He's so cute and sweet when he has that and his blanket. He has to have both. He loves to sit in my lamp and cuddle with both of those. Luke would never sit in my lap for a long length of time to cuddle...so I'm enjoying him doing this while I can!

Don't mess with his paci or blankie. 

He will probably sleep with that blanket until he's 18. 

I love when he walks around with his blankie. So cute. 

Ever since Jude has started walking Luke enjoys playing with him a lot more. I love watching them play together. Luke is pretty protective of him too. If Jude gets in trouble or gets a little spanking, Luke does not like it all. He tells me "Mama be nice to Jude". We had made progress there too. Luke wouldn't even touch Jude for the longest time. I hope they continue to be close and grow up to be best friends. It would make this Mama really happy.

Jude has come along way from the baby who didn't really like anybody (except me and my Mom) to a pretty happy little boy! He's still not as sociable (aka...likes other people) as Luke was, but we've made some progress. He's a blessing in our lives and we can't imagine life without him. We love you our little Judah Bear!

Babies and Dogs.

The shopping trip this weekend was a success. I got some much needed clothes for fall and I didn't have any freak out moments of trying to find things. The whole trying to find outfits I really like on Pinterest really helped.  Oh yeah, and being with my sister all day was pretty fun too. She's a cool sister. I think every girl should have a sister they are close to...or at least friends who are like a sisters. I am thankful to have both of those. Also, to all my Target lovers out there...get this app: Cartwheel. It maybe this best app ever. It gives you percents off on almost everything in the store. I saved about $20-25 when I went there Friday. I am also aware that this app maybe known by lots of people but I don't get out much. Thanks to my friend Kim for sharing! 

We had a little family movie night on Saturday...complete with popcorn and M&Ms. We watched Madagascar. Luke liked it. Jude went to bed before it was over and was mainly just into the popcorn and M&Ms...just like me.  Now, Luke wants to watch it a million times a day. So, we have this song stuck in our heads. 

*I have no idea what the video looks like on here. So, sorry for the bad quality or the lack of even being able to see it. 

Is anyone else noticing the birth of lots of babies recently or the future birth of babies? I have. Facebook seems to filled with new pictures of babies or announcements of those to come. It doesn't help my baby fever much. As shocking as it maybe to those who think having more than one kid is nuts these days, I do want more or I should say we. Justin would love to have a house full...I think he said seven at one point. There's nothing wrong with having seven...I think it's great! But I believe we have compromised on four for now. Obviously, that is our plan not God's...so who knows. Just like I'm not ready to have a baby just yet, but who knows what will happen! Justin is ready. He was ready a few days after Jude was born. I remember him asking me when we were going to have another. I gave him a pretty mean look I'm sure. 

I'm just so happy the Lord has still given me the desire to have more. Between having postpartum with both of my babies, a not so fun experience nursing, and Jude being a pretty difficult little baby, I wasn't so sure at some points I wanted more. I have not forgotten those not so fun times, but I can say they were all worth it. I know all of those are things I could experience again and I am willing to do it. The Lord got me through and He will do it again if He chooses to bless us with more sweet little baby loves. Justin and I couldn't imagine our lives without our boys and we can't wait to see who else will be apart of our family. For now, I'll look at these sweet pictures of my newborn babies and wait until the Lord blesses us with more. 

Baby Luke....oh I love when they lay like that.

Those cheeks. 

 

Then there's this picture my sister sent me today.

I can't handle the cuteness. 

She says we need to get one. I will say that's a pretty cute dog, but I think I'd much rather take care of a baby. I told her if she would get it trained for me I may consider taking it...she wasn't for that idea. Maybe one day...that's a big maybe...when my kids are old enough to take care of it themselves. I tolerate dogs...I don't love them. I would like to get our kids a dog one day. Justin wants one. I do not have the patience to care for one right now. I just don't love dogs enough for that. I know that if I got one, that dog would end up somewhere else by the time we had another baby. It would have to be the baby or the dog. Baby wins....possibly. ;) And no...getting a dog will not help with my baby fever. So, don't give me that recommendation. It will not work with this non dog lover! 

Have a great week/weekend my friends! 

October.

My usual Monday update was interrupted by me feeling pretty puny. I think it had to do with all the food I consumed over the weekend. It was super delicious, but  I don't think my body can handle eating like that anymore. Yesterday was me catching up on things I didn't get done on Monday....like doing a million loads of laundry. These people in my house need to stop wearing so many clothes.

Our weekend was great. We had lots of fun at the wedding. Luke went with us and he did great! Plus he was super cute lookin...as always. It was great seeing some college friends and reminiscing. I miss college. I don't miss the school part, but I would so go back for the social part...and Singers. Oh I miss Singers!

This was during the wedding. He was starting to get bored. 

October is turning out to be a super busy month for us. We have so many things going on and this girl who enjoys being at home is a little stressed about it. I enjoy doing things and the things we will be doing will be fun for the most part, but I don't like when they all happen at the same time! Plus, it makes this month go by super fast and I like this time of year. I still haven't made my fall wreath yet...that's what you're suppose to do right..make a fall wreath? Actually I'm having my sister make me one...yes Julie..you are.

That's her pretty wreath she made...all by herself. Now she gets to make me one. 

I have pinned so many different wreaths I want to make on Pinterest and I had planned to make at least one. But that hasn't happened. So that's why I'm making my sister do it for me. I just have to buy the stuff. I think I can handle that. We are going on a shopping trip together Friday. I've mentioned before my  need for Fall/Winter clothes. So, I will be finally getting some on Friday and I'm excited about it. Julie will be honest and tell me something doesn't look good, so she's a great person to take. Also, we get to spend time together..which is the best. I'm so glad we have remained close. We went through a period where we didn't really like each other very much when we were teenagers, but thankfully we grew out of that. Thanks Mama for having another baby after me and I'm so glad it was a girl! 

I am not one of those girls who just loves shopping. I actually use to hate it. I saw no fun in going and looking at stuff without being able to buy it...what's the point? I do enjoy shopping when I"m actually buying things. I do enjoy just going and looking at things more now. If it gives me a chance to get out of the house without kids..I'm all for it! Usually when I go shopping for clothes I get so overwhelmed when I walk in a store. I have no idea what goes with what and I end up buying things that can't really go together. But this time I have an organized plan...hopefully. I've actually wrote down things I need and I've saved pictures of outfits off Pinterest I really like and plan to find something similar. Pinterest can be a good thing. Of course I would be someone who would make shopping seem like so much work! But I've got to do it this way or I'll end up with things I don't need or things that won't work together. I've got to make these clothes last a while! 

I hope you all have a great week and weekend! 

Stuff.

Thanks for the love and sweet comments on my (really my mom's) recent post. I hope it brought some comfort to at least one person out there. That was truly my main goal. One of my favorite verses in the Bible comes from 2 Corinthians 1:3-4.
                             

3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. 

Sometime after my Dad died I'd hope somehow I could bring some comfort to someone going through a loss or any kind of grief that I had experienced. There really is not much you can say, except simply listening and letting the person cry and saying "I understand" and you really do! 

Anyway, this post is simply what the title says...just stuff. Sometimes I just feel like discussing things that have no relation to each other at all. And I can do that because it's my blog. I'll even list them numerically so you won't get confused. 

1. Friday night me and the boys went to my Mom's. Justin went to Memphis, so he dropped us off at her house. She wanted to take some pictures of the boys at the cemetery, by my Dad's grave. Which isn't as creepy as it sounds. I personally don't enjoy going to cemeteries...I didn't even like it before my Dad died. They just make me feel weird. My mom goes and makes sure there are flowers. She actually told me when she dies to please come and put flowers on her grave and my Dad's....don't worry Mom...I'll do that..just for you though. Anyway, she actually got some sweet pictures. Luke was calling it "Grandad's backyard". Pretty cute I think...much better than what it really is. Kids say funny things. 

Sweet

2. The recipes for pumpkin anything on Pinterest is starting to get crazy. I mean how many things can you possibly think to put pumpkin in before it gets weird? I don't really like pumpkin that much....yes shocking! I will eat pumpkin pie...but it's not my favorite. I made this pumpkin/cream cheese/chocolate chip bread last year just because I wanted my house to smell like pumpkin. It actually wasn't too bad, but I couldn't eat but one piece of it. This year I just bought a wonderful smelling candle from Bath and Body Works called Leaves. Go buy it.  Now I won't have to make pumpkin anything. 

This is the only pumpkin thing I will eat. 

3. Which brings me to my next point. I really love candles....like a lot. It would be a dream of mine to have an endless supply of candles. I could just let one burn all day. They are my favorite thing. That really is a great gift for me....incase you're wondering. I'm kind of obsessed with my house smelling good. And that's really hard to do when you live in an old house...that smells like an old house. I like my Scentsy too...but I need more wax things...hint hint...another gift idea. 

4. Luke has officially decided he wants to be Peter Pan for Halloween. So that's what he will be. I want him and Jude to "match". Last year they were Batman and Robin...which was the cutest thing ever. So I got to keep up with the cuteness. Luke told me Jude could be Wendy. Jude would make a cute girl...but I won't torture him too much. So, I think he will be Jake from Jake and the Neverland Pirates...they sort of go together. 

5. Justin will be officiating a wedding for one of his best friends/former roommates from college this weekend. It will be in Walnut Ridge....our former college town. I'm excited about seeing some friends and hopefully taking a little tour of our former college. Justin and I both use to work at this family owned restaurant called The Pizza Den while we were in college. To say I'm looking forward to eating there is an understatement. They have the best poboys. Yum. Seriously, if you are ever in that area...go there and eat some delicious food! We will bring Luke to the wedding but I'll be leaving Jude with my sister. The thought of bringing Jude to a wedding makes me all stressed out. 

6. Luke and I did a few preschool things last week. I found this fun Fall printable pack. He enjoyed doing it. It was our first attempt at any kind of school related stuff. His favorite thing is the glue and "making" a pencil in the pencil sharpener. Whatever makes him happy. I have purchased the Letter of the Week curriculum from Confessions of a Homeschooler. I still need several more supplies before we can really start it. Especially a laminator. But I am not worried about beginning anything too soon. I really don't want to put too much pressure on Luke yet. If he asks me to do school stuff we will do it. We will probably start the curriculum once I get more supplies and it won't be something we will do everyday. Plus, I have this other child that enjoys destroying things when I'm not looking and who also, I believe, has outgrown his morning nap. So, I've got to figure out something he can do while I do somethings with Luke. I'm sure if I just gave him some food he'd leave me alone. That kid loves to eat. 

He loves that glue. 

Well that's all the stuff I got today. I hope everyone has a great week/weekend! 

10 Years.

Ten years ago today my family's lives changed forever. We lost the man most dear to us...father to us three kids and a loving husband to my sweet Mama. Somedays it feels like it's been so long and others I can still remember and feel that overwhelming feeling of loss. Each of one us (brother, sister, and Mom) handled and dealt with our grief in our own way. Everyone does. I felt like I dealt with mine the way I should and in a healthy way. I still cry over my Dad's death and miss him dearly. I think right now in my life not having him here is the hardest. I wish I could have had an "adult" relationship with my Dad....I had only just turned 17 when he passed. I wish he could have met Justin. And of course he would have been thrilled to have two grandsons! I grieve now not only for myself, but my children, who unfortunately will never know him personally on this earth. But I as look over these last 10 years I am so thankful for God's grace and love towards me. I know my life could have been so different had I gave into my overwhelming grief and not relied on Him and Him alone for strength. There is no other way I would have made it through. He has blessed our family despite our terrible loss. 

I thought I would write more today, but instead I wanted others to hear from my Mama. She has such a wonderful way with words. I tell her she should write a book! I watched my mom grieve through those early days after my Dad died and it was terrible. I would have done anything to take it away. I grief for her too. Now, that I am married, I can't even imagine having to deal with that kind of loss. So, here are her words. I hope they will be a comfort to someone who has dealt or is dealing with a loss...I know for me I liked reading or talking to someone who understood exactly how I felt. 

_______________________________________

My daughter, Laura, asked me to be her guest blogger today.  The reason is not a happy one, for this day marks the 10^th anniversary of the death of her father and my husband Mike Henderson.   I first started writing this blog as if I was speaking for all of us (my three children and me) and then I realized I couldn’t speak for all of us, only me.  I know my children have grieved differently from me and even from one another although they experienced the same loss.  They have tried to protect me from their pain and I’ve tried to do the same for them.  Grief is such a personal journey.  Although there are many similarities in each journey, they can be as unique and different as each person.  So, I will only speak for myself today.

September 26, 2003. 9:14 pm. UAMS. Death came. Lives changed forever. We traveled the three hour trip home from the hospital in the back seat of our dear friends’ vehicle.  All four of us, side by side holding on to one another in silent disbelief.  As I stared blankly out of the car window, the same thought rolled over and over in my mind, “This is the worst day of my life.”   And even now, ten years later, this day still brings back that same feeling of helplessness and despair.  Images and sounds engraved in my mind forever. The heartbreaking sound of my baby daughter crying out, “Daddy, Daddy” as she fell on her daddy lying in the hospital bed.  My sweet Laura lying with her head in my lap as we listened to her daddy’s labored breathing during his last few hours.  Waking up to the sound of my son as he lay weeping on my bedroom floor that first night without his daddy.   Lying face down on my closet floor day after day begging God to let me see him one more time knowing He would not answer my prayer.  We went into the cancer journey with Mike Henderson expecting the best yet experiencing the worst.

Today, I still don’t have any answers.  I still don’t know the purpose of Mike’s death other than he was one of the favored ones for he received his reward early.  I still haven’t figured out my purpose now that he is gone other than the same one given to all believers which is to further the kingdom of God.  And just like in the beginning of this journey, I often feel disconnected, lost and floundering. Even though I have healed, I still hurt. There is a hole.  An emptiness.  A cloud.  Happy times, sad times, fun times, normal times…it’s there.  Like the proverbial white elephant in the room.  It’s just a part of who I am now.  It is not what I want for myself but I have accepted it as part of this life that I’ve been given.

Surely after ten years, I should have something profound or wise or super spiritual to say. Surely I would have learned something that would make everything right and purposeful. All I can seem to think of is that through it all I’m thankful for my salvation and for the Bible. The Bible has been my constant guide and comfort.  It is the Truth even when the truth hurts.   My salvation through Jesus Christ alone is my Hope for eternal life and keeps me looking upward.  That’s all.  

At one point in his cancer journey, Mike wrote, “It’s easy to forget that God is in control, that all that happens is filtered through His love and plan for me. I know it’s true!”  This reminds me of the child’s prayer, “God is great, God is good”.  God is great (sovereign and in control). God is good (loving and kind). Sometimes it seems the two contradict each other. How can cancer be loving and kind?  How can leaving three children without a father be a part of God’s Sovereign plan? How can a loving Father send His only Son to die for someone like me? It doesn’t make sense; yet trusting in the Truth that God is in control and He loves me is what brings the most comfort and peace. Yes, He is filtering all that happens through His love and His plan for me. How did Mike know this was true? How do I know this is true? The Bible tells me so.

One of my favorite passages of scripture is in John 6.   After a long day of listening to Jesus’ teaching, a group of followers turned away when the cost of believing in Jesus was too great, His words too offensive.  Jesus then turns to his disciples and says, “Will you go too?” Peter replies, “Where would we go? You have the words of eternal life. You are that Christ, the Son of the Living God.”  When my mind is full of questions and heartache and the tears will not stop. I think of that question Jesus asked, “Will you leave, will you go, too? Is the cost too great? ” And my response is the same as Peter’s,”Where would I go? You have eternal life, you are that Christ.”  You are great. You are good.  You are my salvation.

Ten years. September 26, 2013. Mike’s death forever changed our lives. A part of God’s sovereign plan.  But more importantly, his LIFE changed us.  A part of God’s love.  We have great memories that make us cry and laugh and praise God for the blessing of knowing and loving him.  Not a day goes by that I do not wish he was here with us and oddly at the same time I rejoice that he has received his reward early. For I know that my worst day, September 26, 2003 was Mike Henderson’s best day.  It was his heaven day. His faith became sight.  One day.. I will get to heaven and I will see Jesus, my Saviour, The Living Word of God.  One day I will be with Mike longer than I was without him. One day my worst days will be no more. One day…one glorious day.

Thanks Mama. I love you. I also loved that she talked about John 6. I love that passage. Justin actually preached on it not too long ago and I remember tearing up after hearing Peter's response to Jesus. "Where would I go?" I think of that often. There is no where else to go. Jesus is all we need. 

Cotton.

You know those weeks where the only way you know you've made it without running away is by the grace of God? Yeah...that was my week last week. Having two sick babies close to the same time is enough to make you go crazy. I've cleaned up so much throw up and poop in the last couple of weeks its ridiculous....nice huh? I'm just praying for no sickness and a better week.

It's now officially my favorite time of year, so it has to be a good week...right? I love fall. I love all of the things/events that it entails. But one of my favorite things is the return of cotton in the fields. Oh, I love it. It brings back a weird nostalgic feeling. I've lived in Northeast Arkansas pretty much my whole life. So, I've been around cotton a long time.

Beautiful. 

When we lived in Leachville, our house wasn't far from a cotton field. The neighborhood kids and I had this treehouse that was right by a cotton field. We use to have cotton ball fights. Not the actual soft cotton but the hard cotton ball before the cotton pops out. I'm sure the owner of that field appreciated that. When we were at Maple Grove Baptist Church in Trumann, my favorite event was the fall festival. We would actually have cotton rides, instead of hayrides. It was so much more comfortable than riding on hay and fun!

I'm not real sure why, but seeing the return of cotton and seeing a beautiful cotton field reminds me of my Daddy. He had nothing to do with cotton. So, I'm not real sure why it brings up memories of him. I guess because we always lived around it when we were growing up. Justin and I lived in Memphis for a while during the time he was in seminary and there are no cotton fields in Memphis....just in case you didn't know that! I can remember a time driving to this area and seeing all the cotton growing and actually having tears in my eyes...weird I know. I have no idea why a simple thing as a cotton field brings up such strong emotions for me, but I love it anyway. I guess it's just a reminder of home and my childhood, and my Daddy was obviously apart of that.

I really want to take our family fall pictures in/beside a cotton field. I'm hoping we can try and do that this year. I think it would be so pretty. I also need someone to make this for me:

Love.

I saw this on Pinterest (of course) the other day and I have to have it in my house someday! Anyway, now you all know about my weird love of cotton. I have a feeling I'm not the only one though...well maybe I am.

Hope everyone has a great week. Stay tuned...I may have a special treat for you guys this week. A guest post that I'm sure you will all enjoy.

Home.

We are home from our week long vacation. Back to the land of mosquitoes. Seriously, I think someone played a practical joke on us and left our door open while we were gone. The amount of mosquitoes in our house is just crazy. My poor babies have bites all over them! Which then makes me go all crazy on any mosquito I see. Please cool weather get here fast...or I'm moving.

Anyway, we had a great time at the beach. I've already posted some pictures on Facebook so I won't bore you with them all over again. We had a couple of hiccups on our trip. Jude got sick one night (of course) Apparently Jude can't go anywhere without getting sick at least once. He also had a major explosive diaper while as we were leaving a restaurant. I'm talking poop...everywhere. I always carry extra clothes with me when we go anywhere, due to the fact that both my boys were excessive spitter uppers...I'm just use to it. But of course this one time I forgot to pack something. So, we leave the restaurant with just Jude in a diaper...classy. We stayed with our best friends in a condo together. They have three boys around the ages of ours. Their littlest one had diarrhea all week. Poor baby and Mommy! But we all made the best of it. That's all you can do when you have kids...go with the flow! You never can predict what they are going to do. You can plan for a perfect trip and then someone will get sick or hurt themselves..it happens. But we all still managed to have a great time. It was nice to get away for a week...from the mosquitoes. Have I mentioned I hate mosquitoes?

I hope Luke will be able to remember this trip. He got to go with his best friends and he had so much fun! He still can remember things from last year, so I hope he will remember this trip for a while. I have some great memories of trips our family would take with friends to the lake. My Mom and Dad had some best friends from a church my Dad was a pastor at in Leachville. They all had kids around my age and my brother and sisters age. We always had such a fun time. I miss those trips!

This week will be spent cleaning/unpacking from our trip and getting back into our regular routine. Which will include me getting back into running/working out again...ugh. I had planned to run while we were gone. I did....once. But I decided I'd just enjoy my week off. It was super nice not worrying about it and eating whatever I wanted. I'm sure once I weigh myself it won't be a good sight. Oh well, I really am not too worried about it. I pretty much took the whole month off anyway. But now it's time to get back on track...especially before the holidays get here and before I go shopping for some new fall clothes. I have zero things to wear that fit me right now. For the past 4 years I've either been pregnant or bigger during the fall/winter months, so I'm pretty excited about buying new fall stuff that's smaller than usual. And I sold/got rid of all my stuff I had from college or when we first got married. I love fall clothes, so I'm looking forward to that shopping trip...thanks sweet husband!

I also have to get the boys some fall/winter stuff as well. I will be going to the Popsicles consignment sale in Jonesboro in a few weeks. If you haven't been to a consignment sale you must go! It is the best way to buy your kids clothes...unless you are super rich and can afford to buy new things... but we aren't so we do it this way. The clothes have barely been worn and some haven't at all and they are at great prices! I got Luke lots of cute stuff last year. Kids/babies go through things so fast. It just makes more sense to buy them slightly used. You can also sale your used stuff as well. I did last year, and made a little bit of money. I didn't have much to sale this year, plus I didn't have the time. If our next baby is a girl I will have lots to get rid of! (no, I'm not pregnant)

Time to make my starving children some lunch! I hope you all have a great week. :)